Sunday, September 7, 2008

Focus on You, Not Them

We've already discussed how negative self-talk can prevent the aspiring author from achieving success; but what about how others view you and your abilities?

In the Secrets of Spiritual Happiness, author Sharon Janis says, "Others can either help to raise us up into greater levels of awareness, or they can keep us limited to their small views of who and what they think we are or should be."

There will always be people who question your dream of being a published author. There will always be people who don't think you have what it takes to achieve your goals.

Don't listen to them!

Accept honest feedback, but don't allow another person to bring you down. You are in contol of your destiny. You hold the key to unlocking your potential. You lose that control when you allow what other people think to limit what you can accomplish.

Instead of focusing on what others think of you, focus on what you think of yourself. This is why getting rid of negative self-talk is so important. If you're focusing on you instead of others, but doubt your own abilities or put yourself down constantly, then you're back in the same river but in a different boat.

When I found this picture at that I used for this blog entry, I thought of so many people in my past who did exactly what the caption says, " to crush those dreams."

Do I care why they want to crush my dreams? Not really. All I know is that it's important for my life and my career to not allow their negativity to become my problem.

While browsing online I came across a discussion about whether you should avoid negative people or change them. Depending upon who they are and the significance they have in your life will determine your actions. I don't always believe you can change a person, so I usually go with the avoid them idea. I surround myself with positive people and I feel better about my outlook on life. If I meet someone new and she is more concerned with problems than solutions, I don't usually foster a relationship with her.

On the other hand, negative people can be your spouses, your parents or children. It's not like you can avoid those people. This is where focusing on you, and not them, comes most in handy.

It's hard to keep going when you don't have the support you're looking for, but you can find it in places like writing groups and social networks, where likeminded individuals can offer the positive reinforcement that you need.

Plato once wrote, "The man who makes everything that leads to happiness depend upon himself, and not upon other men, has adopted the very best plan for living happily."

Focus on you and don't let others crush your dreams.

This article originally appeared at my old Aspiring Author blog on 6/24/08.

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